I want… I need…

“I’ll give you my car.”

“I’ll buy you whatever you want.”

“I’ll get it for you, no matter the cost.”

“What do you want?”

– Mom

“You. I Need You.”

” Your Unconditional Love.”

“That’s what I want.”

“That’s what I need.”

“That’s what I’m craving.”

– Me

 

Mutual Silence

Mom came over earlier today

and picked me up so we can

have our mother-daughter

chit chat someplace serene.

What usually takes five minutes

felt like a one hour drive.

Breathing in the same heavy air

we were both exhaling inside the

car she decided to use.

Neither of us uttered a word,

and the silence surrounding us

felt like a punch in the gut

as it grew and occupied the rest of

the space between my mother and I.

I looked outside the window

through the passenger’s side,

amused by how fast it suddenly

went dark as the clouds covered

the sun completely.

It looked like it was going to rain…

No perhaps a storm,

which I found ironic.

It was as if the real world was

reflecting both my feelings and emotions

right in front of me.

Not a pretty sight, considering

the fact that the wind was

gushing furiously taking its toll

out on miniature trees next

to the sidewalk.

I wanted to melt the ice

and I was pretty certain that my mother

wanted the same exact thing.

Yet we remained quiet,

barely looking at each other

avoiding eye contact at all cost.

I should be used to this…

 

Confession

How do you get over a heart break?

Dealing with all the heart ache?

Convinced myself that I

completely moved on,

but in reality I only forced

the idea inside this head of mine.

The love that I once had for you

no longer exist, and it’ll stay that way tomorrow too.

Yet I failed to acknowledge

that I’m still broken within,

scarred inside, deep down below.

Straight up to the core,

where you’ll find my roots.

How do you deal with all the pain?

When everything is built through anger and rage?