I made it through high school.
Didn’t use drugs nor smoked cigarette.
Got myself into college by getting a scholarship
from all the hard work and sacrifices I made.
Continues to stay humble despite all the sh*t that I am going through.
So, tell me mother…
Are you proud of me yet?
My mother and I don’t really get along.
She claims that it’s my pride taking over, making a complicated situation even more serious than it already is.
She’d tell me I’m selfish, that I don’t really care about anyone but myself.
Not a single damn given to anybody.
Selfish.
Yes. That’s what she calls me all the time.
She goes around spreading rumors, acting as if she’s being victimized by being forced to live with such an ungrateful child.
Okay.
I get it, I’m the bad guy….
But there’s always two sides of the story.
There is always a detail that gets left unmentioned, just to get the right amount of attention.
You want to hear my part of the story? My side?
Well, here it is.
Pride. Yes, I do have pride, and that is to defend my dignity because it’s the only thing I have left.
Selfish. No, I am not selfish, I’m only looking out for myself. Something that my own mother was incapable of doing due to the love she has to her precious husband. My stepfather. I have to love myself, because if I don’t then who will? I can’t expect anything from her, from someone who can’t even tell me “I love you” coming from the heart.
Ungrateful? No. I made a choice to stop pretending that everything is okay. I made a choice that it’s okay to not be okay, and I would rather cry in front of an audience than to force a smile that makes me want to to punch myself in the gut.
As for the rumors, the lies, the uncompleted side of her story…
Well, she just can’t accept the fact that her own daughter defies her wish to impress the world by living a lie.
Lucid Dreamer 