I’m not an emotional type of person
so when it comes to making decisions
I always use my head.
I guess it’s fair to say that after all the
numbing I’ve done all these years,
my heart froze due to the cold
I myself have put it through.
Those around me sometimes wonder
if I am even capable of feeling things,
such as love.
Somehow they always seem to manage
seeing through the ice glass surrounding
this heart of mine,
that what exist within is merely
anger and rage.
I don’t have to say a word
because even when I have on the biggest smile
or manage looking like the happiest
living being alive, my aura says otherwise.
Don’t get me wrong….
I am capable of love,
but it’s quite different from your point of view.
the kind of love I am capable of giving
won’t keep you warm,
it won’t fill in gaps in your life either.
The kind of love I am capable of giving
is holding out my hand
along with a promise to never let go
until all is well.
I cannot give a piece of my heart,
not anymore –
there’s just too much missing pieces
that I have given freely in the past
only to have those who already had a piece
come back for more.
Leaving me shattered with no choice
but to save the remaining pieces for myself.
in time this heart of mine shall heal
and I will no longer be referred to
as the Cold One.