Torment

I scare myself sometimes. Due to all these thoughts forming inside my head. “That’s perfectly normal”, is what I’ve been told, but honestly I don’t think it is… Not when the voices are reminding you of what once was, what should have been forgotten, the past.

It seems so hunted, almost as if some ghoulish form of some sort is living inside of me causing me to take a trip down memory lane. Except instead of seeing the good memories, you’re face to face with the things you once hated. “Everyone had some trouble in their past, but such a long time has passed. Surely it’s forgotten.”

No. Wrong. See, when the past is not confronted or dealt with properly, it’ll haunt you for the rest of your life. One way or another, something will trigger it and you’ll eventually face what you thought you outran.

You’re Not Family

How is it that the person who was supposed to love you 

and protect you from the rest of the world,

end up being the one who would eventually stab you from the back and heart?

That person who was supposed to guide you

through your daily struggles,

whom not only exposed your deepest, darkest secret to everyone

but used them against you.

How can people be so cruel? How can they manage going through the thought

that they are slowly tearing someone apart?

All or Nothing

I gave my all, whatever I can, the best I could…..

But none of it was enough,

it was as if the more I try to please your desires

the more the situation worsened.

To the point where I lost faith in myself,

stopped hoping for a better future,

was ashamed of myself and the life that I had.

Lost confidence in myself,

yet you’d see me walking around with this infectious grin

displayed upon my face –

I’ve been told by many how much they envy me,

that surely I was living this fairy tale sort of life

because my aura radiated bright enough to encourage those around me

to want to live a happy and positive life no matter what

obstacle gets in the way.

Knowing that I was able to help others cope with

whatever it was they were going though gave me enough courage and happiness

to live through the day.

Whether I feel like dying or stop from trying…..

I still continue to move forward,

because what’s important is I make it through the day.

After all, a storm doesn’t last forever,

the sun will come out eventually,