Ironic Friendship

Don’t look me in the eye

and call me a great friend,

when all you do behind my back

is talk nonsense and makeup lies.

Don’t look me in the eye

and deny that you’re lying,

when you know I can see through

that thick wall you’ve built.

Don’t look me in the eye

and tell me deep dark secrets,

knowing I’m the last one to know

simply makes you look pathetic.

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A MEMORY

Grandma had a boyfriend.

He was half her age. Younger. To me, they were an odd couple.

We weren’t rich, didn’t have much except each other;

but sometimes that’s not enough.

What about money? What about the rent? What about the water?

What about the electricity? What about school uniforms?

What about food? Are we even going to have a meal today?

What if this happened? What if that happened?

Questions racing inside my head.

Inside a seven year old little girl’s mind.

With him around we were somehow able to avoid these questions.

He has money. He has a job.

But it’s not a very decent or respectable one.

He sold drugs. Marijuana.

He offered me once, twice, so many times I lost count.

Not once have I had any of the stuff he sold in my system.

I’ve seen the process, how they made it, how they used it.

I hated him. For trying to manipulate me

as a foolish child. I was however convinced that the day will come

when I no longer have to live with an addict and pusher.

TRYING

The past has a chain attached to my soul.

I’ve been running for so long,

to avoid all the pain and the presence of ghouls.

Closing my eyes was never enough,

and surely playing pretend was something I cannot do.

I did not let my past turn me into the person

that everyone around me said I’d become.

I’m still holding on to every sharp word that has left my neighbor’s mouth,

it’s hard to forgive when the same “mistake”

has been repeated over the years.

Yet here I am, trying to find in my aching heart

to let go of it all…

INSPIRATION

I’ve been stepped on.

Pushed down. Called names.

But I didn’t let anything or anyone ¬†

keep me from reaching my goals in life,

and dreams that I long so lived for.

Instead I use the negativism being thrown my way

as an inspiration by turning it into 

something positive and worth my precious time.